Please, no gifts. Cash on the day will do, thanks.
Is it rude to ask people for gifts / or have a wishing well for the engagement party / wedding / kitchen tea?
Short answer: Yes, but people still do it anyway.
SO WHAT’S THE ISSUE?
There are several events which take place before the actual wedding. In result, the same people will be invited to celebrate the fact that you will be getting married.
As a guest, we receive the following invitations to these events:
– Kitchen tea / Bridal Shower
– Hens night
– Wedding Invitation
From a guest’s perspective, requesting a gift or cash at each event may seem slightly overkill. So we’ve designed an easy to look up matrix for our brides on when you should include a gift registry and/or wishing well with any invitation heading out to your guests.
|Event||Gift Registry||Wishing Well|
|Engagement||No||Acceptable, but not advised|
|Kitchen Tea / Bridal Shower||Yes||No|
|Hens Party / Bucks||No||No|
|Wedding Day||Yes, if you prefer gifts.||Yes, if you prefer cash.|
Adult Nursery Rhymes
Throughout the years of designing invitations for different events, I’ve been surprised by the number of requests for no gifts and instead the couple would prefer cash. The request is usually masked in what would be the equivalent of an ‘Adult Nursery Rhyme’.
If you’ve received any wedding invitations recently, they may sound like the below:
Soon we are to be Mr & Mrs
We don’t need a wedding list of dishes.
Our life together has already begun
We have almost everything under the sun:
Two kettles, two toasters, two microwaves
Though we also have dreams for which to save.
Our dream is to honeymoon in a foreign land
And walk along the beach hand in hand.
If you would like to give us a gift
A contribution towards this would give us a lift.
We like to think of it as our ‘Wishing Well’
Which will be filled with your love, we can tell!
But the most important thing to say
Is that you are there to celebrate our day!
Soon you will hear our wedding bell,
As friends and family wish us well.
Our household thoughts are not brand new,
We have twice the things we need for two.
Since we have our share of dishes and bedding,
We’re having instead a wishing well wedding.
But more important, we ask of you,
Your prayers of love and blessings, too!
Here’s What I Think..
I recommend keeping it short and sweet and straight to the point. Here are two examples below:
If you were thinking of giving a gift to help us on our way.
A gift of cash towards our house, would really make our day.
However, if you prefer a gift, feel free to surprise us in your own special way.
Our fairy tale and dreams have all come true
And our most special gift is to share it with you
We’ve chosen a wishing well for the day
That will help towards our future in every way
For more ideas, you can find a few more here www.ooh-aahinvitations.com.au/invitation-wording.php
So.. Should I Mention Gifts at All?
Hopefully the table at the start of this post will help. At the end of the day, there will always be people who take offence in relation to your preference or your choice of wishing well poem, and then there will be some people who are grateful that you have saved them time from walking around the shops aimlessly trying to figure out what to get you.
The best part is you don’t have to deal with accepting three different toasters or kettles family friends bought for you.
In many Non-Western cultures, giving cash as a gift is normal wedding etiquette and couple’s don’t specifically ask for it. There is also a rise in the number of couples requesting no gifts at all, yes that’s right not even cash!
If you have any questions, leave a comment below and we’ll try our best to help you out. Otherwise good luck with your planning!