Dear Bride

Our parents keep adding to the guest list and it’s getting out of control, how do we tell them to STOP ?

Wednesday, January 09, 2019

So you decide to sit down with your parents and go through the list of people who they want to invite to your wedding and the conversation starts to sound a bit like:

Guest type: The Awkward random

Parent 1: “We need an invitation for Joe from down the road, we forgot his last name…”

Bride: “I’m sorry dad, but I don’t want to pay $165.00 per head to invite the guy down the road you see twice a year.”

Guest type: The Respectful Randoms

Groom: “You want to invite who?, I don’t remember who they are? Ohhh …. Ok so they invited you to their kids wedding when I was 5, now they’re older with their own kids, who have kids, and now we have to organise a table for their entire extended family ? What?!?”

——

So your parents want to do the right thing and invite every single person that asks about you.

In your head you’re doing the numbers: that’s $150 x 10 = $1500 for a table of people you don’t know…. All because your family (2 parents and 1 child) were invited to a wedding 25 years ago. Noting that 25 years ago it probably didn’t cost $150.00 per head for a basic sit down dinner in a reception venue out in the suburbs.

1 word: Inflation

Guest type: Every Other Random

The conversation starts to sound like…

“Lets invite the florist
The dressmaker
The make up artist and hair stylist.”

Groom: “Really ?”

Next steps:

Open that growing spreadsheet accessible to you, your partner, your parents, his parents and now split the list into 4 columns:

ABCD
Contact in the last 3 monthsContact in the last 6 monthsLast contacted over 12 months agoOverseas guests that probably won’t attend, but you still need to give them an invitation (D list)

Our advice is to start with those who you have not spoken with in over 12 months, and make an exception only where its absolutely necessary. Place them on the C list.

Your guest list should be mainly (A & B listers) with the exception for any of the above randoms that you couldn’t argue your way out of inviting. Now you can commence the cull.

As bad as this sounds, keep the C list handy. If you are getting married in Sydney, most venues will have minimum numbers to fill and final numbers are usually confirmed approx. 2 – 4 weeks prior to the big day. Nearly all wedding numbers will fluctuate down to the last week leading up to the wedding.

Should your list decrease past the minimum numbers – you’ll know who to call.

Start your way on the C list.

If you feel awkward giving them an invitation with an RSVP card that was dated to be returned 6 weeks ago, try the following excuses:

– Lost in the mail
– I’ve been meaning to see you, to deliver this personally, sorry its late !
– Lost your address

Happy Culling !

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